Dear you,

Now i really really surrender & admit that i'm afraid. I'm even more afraid than watching a horror movie. Cos life now is like a horror movie unveiling right in front of it, the difference is that i'm starring in it. I hate it when i throw up blood. I hate it so much but i am not able to stop it. I just wish i wasn't alone in this, somehow. 

When i saw her so helpless, and she could do nothing to communicate, inside i begged to switch places with her. Now that i'm here, i really wish someone could just pull me out. I really don't wish to be sick. 

times like this should last.

today i took the liberty of not having anything on to just sleep in till my biological clock wakes me up. i haven't been saying this but my curtains are probably the third best thing in my room, after the bed and the macbook. probably going to head back to bed, the weather is too good to study.

sometimes i really don't understand people. how can one say something to you but doesn't do it. well, maybe cause they have no intentions to make you feel better. so you know, i felt worst after it all. yesterday i was watching sg idol, and i managed to have a good genuine laugh. i wish the people who used to make me laugh were still constantly around me.

when people ask you if you're okay, sometimes we are obliged to say yes even though we're all hurting inside. it's... a human thing.

today i....
ditched joey's invitation to go swimming with her & van cause i was still lying on the bed.
made joey happy by buying her honey aloe
ate sinful stuffs
watched boys over flowers till we both fell asleep.
tired for her, boring for me.
fell in love with her beanbag.
& i can see myself sitting on it whenever i'm there.
bye to osim.

the week has been rough for me, so i decided with joey that thurs will be my comfort day but something had to ruin my day in the morning but i decided hey what the heck right and i ignored it. something tells me things can only get better from now on. what's more with me meeting my 2 favourite people tomorrow. what a nice way to end a hectic school week. so stranger, goodbye & hope you're having the best time of your life.

xxxxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T7ZiW0_UF4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T7ZiW0_UF4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T7ZiW0_UF4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T7ZiW0_UF4

today is one of the days where i feel insanely dry + bitter from everything that's happening at school. you're not rushing to the deadline you're just standing there, still while the deadlines is eerily creeping towards you. woke up with one of the roughest throat ever but here i am drinking a free bottle of coke, something which i hate, but i'm here drinking it just to feel the rush of the sugar. today is also one of the days where i feel like throwing my phone in the cupboard and ignore the texts + calls from people while i just laze in bed cherishing my alone time.